Thursday, April 23, 2009

Dogs And Cats

I found this on Shelfari posted by Bronte and thought it was so funny I just had to share it here.. I imaganed my cat Dexter thinking those thoughts and just had to laugh.. So for all the Cat and Dog lovers out there :)

Excerpt from a dog's diary

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 PM - Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

6:00 PM - Oooh, Bath . Bummer.

7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a cat's diary

Day 983 of my captivity...

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now...

The phrase "He is obviously retarded" had me laughing out loud! It was just so funny thinking my Dexter thinking that!

Hope you enjoy it as much as I did :)


Anonymous said...

I've read that before - it's so funny! Sounds just like my 2 dogs.

Blodeuedd said...

This was hilarious! :D
Totally love it, cna I steal it?

DeSeRt RoSe said...

Lynne, it sounds like my cat too :)

Bloedeudd, I thought so too :) glad you enjoyed it and sure you can take it, since I stole it before you :)

Mishel (P.S. I Love Books) said...

Oh my god that was sooo hilarious. Thanks so much for sharing, definitely made my afternoon 8)

ds said...

Okay, who got inside my first cat's head??? This is so funny, I'm crying--thanks for the great laugh!

Sandy Nawrot said...

It just doesn't get any truer than this. I guess that is why there are obvious "dog people" and "cat people"!!!

Bella Foxx said...

Hi, just dropping by to let you know that since you are one of my top commenters I have awarded you the "You don't say award". You can pick it up at Bella is reading . . ..

I know you gave this to me, but since you are in the top five on two of my blogs, I had to give it to me.

BTW I read the 'diaries' before, I laughed just as much this time as last since in this house the cat is the retarded one!

Teddyree said...

LOL cracked me up!

Unknown said...

OMG! This is absolutely hysterical! I love the cat's thoughts, maybe because I am a proud owner of one and love him to death. I agree, the 'retarded' comment is the best but the assassination of his captors and the bird being an informant are ridiculously funny too.

DeSeRt RoSe said...

Mishel, glad you liked it :)

ds, yeah I though the same about my cat :)

Sandy, so true :)

Balla, thank you dead you are so kind to me :) and I'm glad to bring a smile to your face ;)

Teddyree, glad you enjoyed it :)

Lilly, you see they are plotting our assasination and we are here sitting and laughing about it :)

TexasRed said...

Hilarious. Sounds just like how they appear to react to the world!

Jenny Girl said...

I have a dog and she is absolutley retarded too!
I always like to read every now and then because it makes me laugh!

The Book Resort said...

It reminds me of my sweeties.
LOL. Thanks for sharing.

The Book Resort said...

Vickie said...

Excellent. That nails the two 'tudes perfectly.

Toni said...

I just LOVE this! So funny. I wish I had a cat. I am allergic to the MAX. :( So I have to live with the mentally challenged dogs. LOL....

Belle Wong said...

Very cute! and your cat's name caught my eye. Ours is called Dexter, too!

Beth F said...

I've seen this around, but I love it. Thanks for posting it.

DeSeRt RoSe said...

TexasRed, glad you enjoyed it :)

Jenny Girl, don't you imagine "My favorite thing!" with him :)

The Book Resort, thank you dear .. that was so sweet of you to pass this award to me.. I'm very grateful :)

Vickie, happy you liked it :)

Toni, LOL @ "mentally challenged dogs" and sorry about your allergy..

Ms Bookish, really?! wow that is so cool! Do you have a photo?

Beth, thanks.. glad you like it :)

Jenners said...

I'd seen this before but it never fails to crack me up! Well worth a repeat visit!

Anonymous said...

HA! I love it! I like dogs, but I am a "cat person" at heart. I have always said that cats are smarter than people think!

DeSeRt RoSe said...

Jenners, glad you enjoyed it :)

melodyofamom, LOL yeah I believe the same this.. I love dogs but I'm a cat person too.. I just go crazy over cats :)

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