I have been neglecting my blog for awhile because after I came back from my vacation I was not reading very much, I guess I didn't get into it yet again!
Then on Sunday the 16th of August my dad's blood sugar dropped for the second time and we didn't know why that was happening.. He is diabetic and on Insulin but this severe drops in his sugar level was new and after going into Hypoglycemic coma we admitted him.
They found out that he has renal failure and in need of Dialysis.. He became worse so he was admitted to the ICU and started Dialysis.. then on Wednesday morning he had a brain stroke and internal bleeding in his brain which accumulated in brain death.. his lungs stopped working and so he was put on the machine.. on Sunday the 23rd of August at 11:45 PM his heart stopped while me and my brothers were with him in the ICU..
It was such a tragic and painful 2 weeks, I am still in shock!! I cried when I heard the news on Wednesday and kept crying till he died.. then after that it was very hard for me to cry.. everyone around me is crying.. my aunts from both sides.. my cousins.. everyone!! Except me and my mom and my 2 brothers.. it's like we are the least affected although we are the direct family..
I'm writing this with not a tear in my eyes although I love my father so much.. he has been a great dad.. caring and loving and always thinking ahead..
Are we still in shock or denial? Will this wear off? Every time I start thinking of the memories I stop myself and keep chanting "don't think, don't think".. I don't know why I'm doing this.. I think I'm afraid to breakdown!
My hubby has been supporting me so very much, God bless him.. but he needs my support too.. His father was admitted to the hospital the same day as my dad and he is not doing very well .. he was admitted to ICU too and is still there until writing these words.. So I'm trying to support him as much as I can!
I seem to be forgetting a lot lately and not being able to focus on what I'm doing.. so I don't know when I will start reading and posting again.. I hope I would start doing so very soon because I want anything just to keep my mind busy and not start thinking..
I don't know if I made much sense in these words I just wrote but I just had to write it somewhere..