Sunday, August 30, 2009

My Dear Dad Passed Away!!


I have been neglecting my blog for awhile because after I came back from my vacation I was not reading very much, I guess I didn't get into it yet again!

Then on Sunday the 16th of August my dad's blood sugar dropped for the second time and we didn't know why that was happening.. He is diabetic and on Insulin but this severe drops in his sugar level was new and after going into Hypoglycemic coma we admitted him.
They found out that he has renal failure and in need of Dialysis.. He became worse so he was admitted to the ICU and started Dialysis.. then on Wednesday morning he had a brain stroke and internal bleeding in his brain which accumulated in brain death.. his lungs stopped working and so he was put on the machine.. on Sunday the 23rd of August at 11:45 PM his heart stopped while me and my brothers were with him in the ICU..

It was such a tragic and painful 2 weeks, I am still in shock!! I cried when I heard the news on Wednesday and kept crying till he died.. then after that it was very hard for me to cry.. everyone around me is crying.. my aunts from both sides.. my cousins.. everyone!! Except me and my mom and my 2 brothers.. it's like we are the least affected although we are the direct family..
I'm writing this with not a tear in my eyes although I love my father so much.. he has been a great dad.. caring and loving and always thinking ahead..
Are we still in shock or denial? Will this wear off? Every time I start thinking of the memories I stop myself and keep chanting "don't think, don't think".. I don't know why I'm doing this.. I think I'm afraid to breakdown!

My hubby has been supporting me so very much, God bless him.. but he needs my support too.. His father was admitted to the hospital the same day as my dad and he is not doing very well .. he was admitted to ICU too and is still there until writing these words.. So I'm trying to support him as much as I can!
I seem to be forgetting a lot lately and not being able to focus on what I'm doing.. so I don't know when I will start reading and posting again.. I hope I would start doing so very soon because I want anything just to keep my mind busy and not start thinking..

I don't know if I made much sense in these words I just wrote but I just had to write it somewhere..




42 comments:

Blodeuedd said...

I am so sorry to hear that. My thoughts are with you and your family *hugs*

Erotic Horizon said...

My thoughts are with you hon... I know how close you are to your family...

I am sorry for your lose.

Hugzzz

E.H>

Debs Desk said...

My prayers are with you and just know it will get easier. My little brother (43) passed on December 11 last year, very suddenly and I thought I would die as well. I have came out the other side a stronger person and I believe you will too. Remember your dad will always be with you, he is in your heart and will never leave, and you will see him again someday.

Sandy Nawrot said...

I am so sorry, and am sending my thoughts and hugs to you. Your mind is just protecting yourself right now from the devastation of losing a parent. I'll say a prayer for you, your family and your husband.

Jules said...

So sorry for you're lost, my thoughts are with you and your family. *Hugs*

nanscorner said...

I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you and your family.

Donna said...

I'm sorry to hear about your dad, and your husband's dad. I know you and your family will pull through this ordeal.

Maw Books said...

Hugs for you. I'm so sorry.

S. Krishna said...

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Heather D said...

I am so sorry to hear about your loss! You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

I can relate to how you are feeling... the not crying while everyone else around you is. When my brother died, I was the same way. I didn't cry after the first night of finding out he was in the ICU. I went to school the next day, but left midday b/c I couldnt deal with all the questions. Thinking back on it now I think I was in a state of shock. I didn't want it to be true and surely didn't want to deal with it.

Beth F said...

I am sorry sorry to hear this. My good thoughts are with you.

Ashley @ Ashley's Library said...

I'm very sorry to hear about your loss. I am wishing the best for you and your family.

ds said...

I am so sorry for your loss, your father sounds like a wonderful man. My thoughts & prayers are with you, your family, your husband and his family.

Patricia Altner said...

Parents are so special. They give us life and teach us how to live. So hard to believe when it's their turn to move on.

I'll hold you and your family in my prayers. These difficult times do pass although that's hard to believe that now.

God bless!

diana said...

Very sorry for your loss. May god give you and your family the strength to get through this.

susiej said...

Dear Desert Rose,

I've never posted here before but I follow mawbooks and saw her tweet about your dad. I'm so sorry.

My mother passed away in June and though it was expected I was still stunned, literally knocked on my rear. Even with years to prepare, I still said to myself- why didn't I do this or say that?

Be kind to yourself. Know that your dad knew how much you loved him.

Two months later, I still wake up in the night and cry (its really the only time moms have to break down). I will be thinking and praying for you.

Jo-Jo said...

I am so sorry for your loss. The grieving process is different for everyone and you will deal with this loss in your own way. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Vivienne said...

I am so sorry to hear about your dad. My thoughts are with you and your family at this time. They say time is a great healer, but I doubt you want to hear that at the moment.

Sending hugs down the line.

emeraldfire said...

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. My dad died five years ago and I found it hard to concentrate on reading myself for weeks and months afterward. Hugs to you and your husband and family.

Robin of My Two Blessings said...

*hugs* I'm so sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself and your hubby. Take it one day at a time. We will be keeping you and your family in our thoughts and prayers.

Alaine - Queen of Happy Endings said...

I am so sorry! My Dad passed away August 13 two years ago and it was sudden and so unexpected. Sounds like you are in shock, and I remember chanting those same words, 'don't think'. Once things settled down reading saved my sanity, it becamse a place to escape the pain. I hope eventually it becomes that for you.

I hope your husbands Dad is ok, will send up prayers for you all!

Melody said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you and your family. {Hugs}

Mandi said...

My thoughts are with you. So sorry for your loss.

Marie Burton said...

My dad passed the night before Thanksgiving last November. It was sudden, so he did not suffer, but it was so shocking because I expected to be Daddy's little girl forever. He was 59, & loved by all. I cannot tell you how you will feel, or how you will cope. It is not something that has eased with time.I will never get over it. I cry when I am alone. I feel guilty for moving from NY to TX, away from him. But all I can do is pray that he us happy now, & know that yes he did love me. I will cherish the memories, the keepsakes, & honor his memory. You will not move on, or get better, you will have to simply get to that point from shock to acceptance. Accept the grief. It is yours & will be a part of your soul. Our fathers are a part of us & always will be. I can only hope that you do not have to handle another tragedy so soon, I hope that your father in law has a speedy recovery. Love, prayers, solace & grace to you.

Vickie said...

My prayers are with you.

The Book Resort said...

I am crying for you. You are in my prayers. Your loved ones are in my thoughts & prayers. Hugs!

The Book Resort said...

This helped when I my grandpa passed away. I am still in a bit of denial.

Hugs!

“May the road rise up to meet you, may the wind be ever at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face and the rain fall softly on your fields. And until we meet again, May God hold you in the hollow of his hand.”

Cecile said...

Desert Rose... My thoughts, prayers and love go to you, your family, your hubby and his family. Please know that I will keep you all in my prayers. The only thing I can say to you is that I am here if you need someone. I know we are "friends" through the internet, but please know that I am email about from you. And I am sending huggss your way!
You are a strong woman... God puts us through... to see us out...

Carrie said...

I'm so sorry for your loss -you will be in my prayers.

Nymeth said...

I'm so sorry for your loss :(

Anna said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. My father passed away suddenly 10 years in December. I know how much it hurts to lose someone so close to you. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

--Anna
Diary of an Eccentric

Dorte H said...

I am so sorry for your loss!

Ceri said...

I really am deeply sorry to hear that. My thoughts are with you and your family. *hug*

DeSeRt RoSe said...

I thank everyone for their prayers, thought, hugs and sweet words.. I have read every single word.. your words brought tears to my eyes literally.. you are all my sisters all around the globe.. I thank you so very much from the bottom of my heart :)
May God bless all of you .. thank you!

Erika said...

I am so sorry for your loss. I know words are not enough.My thoughts are prayers go out to you and your family.

Serena said...

Hon, you need to breakdown, just let it go. Its better for you than to keep it all in...and then you can be more helpful to your hubby in his time of need.

I hope that things work out better for his father and I will send positive thoughts your way. It is tough to lose someone that close to you and to know how to react.

Just breakdown...you need it. And its good to remember the good times.

Lynne said...

I'm so sorry about your father and your father-in-law. Hugs to you and your husband. You'll be in my thoughts.

Teddyree said...

I am so sorry to hear about your Dad, my heart goes out to you and yours, I'm thinking of you and sending warm hugs and caring thoughts.

My mum passed away in April last year after a nightmarish 6 week illness with melanoma. I can relate to the 'don't think' thoughts you are having, I think it's a mechanism there to protect you when you are at your most vulnerable, if you don't think about it, you won't feel, it won't be real. The feelings do return when you are hopefully strong enough to deal with it.

Sassy Brit said...

Oh, my you are going through the mill, I am so sorry to hear this.

Sending lots of love to you and your family. I know the strength and support of your family pulling together will see you through this sad and terrible time. Stay strong.

Big hugs

Sassy
XX

Berry said...

Innalillah..Sorry to hear. Hope you and your family be strong.

Christine said...

Dear Desert Rose,
I'm so sorry to only be reading these two posts about your dad and father-in-law just now. I'm so so so saddened by your losses. Please know that you are in my thoughts and the thoughts of all of these other lovely bloggers. I hope you are comforted by warm, loving memories of your dad.
*hugs*

DeSeRt RoSe said...

Thank you to all of you who sent their thoughts and prayers.. you have comforted me with your kind words..
I guess the shock was too strong that it's unbelievable!!
But lately I'm starting to feel the hurt when something happens and I need to talk to one of them or both about it.. Every couple of days I break down :( Oh well!!

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