Two For The Dough by Janet Evanovich

Two For The Dough by Janet Evanovich

Year Published: 1996
My Rating: 5 stars
336 pages

This is the second book in the Stephanie Plum series.

Bounty hunter stephanie Plum is back and is assigned to catch an insane ex-Army Kenny Mancuso, after he jumped his bail. He has shot his best friend and seems to have turned wealthy all of a sudden.
While doing that she is assigned to look for missing caskets from a funeral parlor. With the help of Grandma Mazur who seems always ready to visit a funeral viewing any time of the day.
All this with vice-cop Joe Morelli watching over her shoulder while bumping in him every turn of the way.

She then starts receiving embaled missing body parts as a warning for her to mind her own business and stay away, threatening not only her but even the people she holds dear.

This book was a real page turner that was so much fun with a lot of laugh out loud moments. The tension between Stephanie and Joe is a lot of fun, having you wondering what might happen next.
Grandma Mazur is a bundle of laughs, with her quirky ideas and fun moves.
It's been a while since I read the first book but I fell into this one so fast that it made me wonder what kept me away from this series so long. I already started the next book in the series too!

Quotes I enjoyed from the book:

In the burg it is possible to be born into bumhood. The Morelli and Mancuso women are above reprouch, but the men are jerks. They drink, they cuss, they slap their kids around and cheat on their wives and girlfriends.

We had warm homemade apple pie for desert. The apples were tart and cinnamony. The crust was flaky and crisp with a sprinkling of sugar. I ate two pieces and almost had an orgasm. "You should open a bakery," I said to my mother. "You could make a fortune selling pies."

"Look at that skirt,: my mother said when she opened the door to me. "It's no wonder we have so much crime today what with these short skirts. How can you sit in a skirt like that? Everyone can see everything?"

"It's two inches above my knee. It's not that short."

"I haven't got all day to stand here talking about skirts," Grandma Mazur said. "I got to get to the funeral parlor. I gotta see how they laid this guy out. I hope they didn't smooth over those bullet holes too good."

"Don't get your hopes up," I told Grandma Mazur. "I think this will be closed coffin."

Morelli turned my suit collar up against the chill air. His knuckeles brushed my neck, and his gaze lingered on my mouth. "You have a nice family," he said.

I narrowed my eyes. "If you kiss me I'll scream, and then my father will come out and punch you in the nose." And before any of those things happened, I'd probably wet my pants.

"You know that new file clerk we just hired?"

"Sally Something."

"Yeah. Sally Who Knew the Alphabet."

I looked around the office. "she seems to be missing."

"You bet she's missing. Your cousin Vinnie caught her at a forty-five-degree angle in front of the D drawer and tried to play hide the salami."

Morelli gave me a boy, are you stupid or what look. "I understand they have positions available for makeover ladies at Macy's"

"Don't start with the makeover stuff again. So I made a mistake."

"Cookie, you're making a career out of making mistakes."

"It's my style. And don't call me Cookie."

Some people learn from books, some listen to the advice of others, some learn from mistakes. I fit into the last catgory. So sue me. At least I rarely made the same mistake twice... with the possible exception of Morelli. Morelli had this habit of periodically screwing up my life. And I had a habit of letting him do it.

"Going to be a threesome," I told him. "You and me and Morelli."

"He there now?" Ranger wanted to know.

"Yeah"

"You naked?"

"No."

"Still early," Ranger said.

I heard the disconnect, amd I hung up.

Connie was smiling ear to ear. "I figure she can handle Vinnie."

"Yeah," Lula said. "He try anything with me, and I'll stomp pn the little motherfucker. He mess with a big woman like me, and he be nothin' more than a smelly spot on the carpet."

The phone rang at seven. I squinted at the clock and then at the phone. There is no such thing as a good call at 7 A.M. It's been my experience that all calls between the hours of 11 P.M. and 9 A. M. are disaster calls.

What did a kiss on the forehead mean, anyway? Nothing, I told myself. It didn't mean anything at all. It meant that sometimes Morelli could be a nice guy. Okay, so why was I smiling like an idiot? Becasue I was deprived. My love life was nonexistent. I shared an apartment with a hamster. Well, I thought it could be worse.